Thursday, June 4, 2009

Hardship and Love



Our walk through the adoption of Koyla is giving me a new look at orphans, especially the children that are social orphans. Koyla has a grandpa that loves him and Yana a lot. He was unable to care for 2 children after his wife died so the children were separated. He gets very emotion when he sees Yana. They hug and kiss and he sheds tears. Koyla has been a huge part of his life, but because of illness and poverty, Grandpa had to put Koyla in an orphanage where he has better care. He had to give up his rights to Koyla to do this. This is why Koyla is up for adoption. This is not easy for grandpa, even though it was his decision. It is not easy for Koyla , grandpa has been his security all his life. This is a big factor in this adoption, even though legally it has no barren in the adoption. We want Koyla to walk away from Ukraine still secure that his grandpa is still his grandpa and always will be his grandpa.
On Tuesday morning we got up ready to go to Tokmac for the day. We were going to meet grandpa. At 8:00 in the morning the orphanage called and said grandpa was there and wanted to meet us. I think Galina made contact with him letting him know we were coming. He has no phone, but maybe there is a contact person. When we arrived at the orphanage he and Yana embraced. It was another emotional time for Yana and grandpa. Yana introduced us to him and she talked to him about the adoption. He asked her many questions. He told her that he would be bored without Koyla. Koyla is all grandpa has. His son is not a good man and left Koyla for the pleasures of his own life. Yana did an excellent job at encouraging grandpa and he knew that this was best for Koyla. Koyla has 2 choices right now, be adopted or live the rest of his teenage years in an orphanage, age out and be on his own. Adoption is appealing to him and being with Yana is more appealing.
When children are taken from their parents they go to a 1st stage orphanage where they spend 90 days be evaluated. Any relative that might be in the area is contacted. They are asked if they would like to raise the child, if not then they decide the orphanage best suited for the child. Many times relatives want to help the child, but can’t afford to. They visit the child or they will have the child come to the house for dinner or overnights, etc. If no one wants the parental rights to these children, then they can be adopted. That is why some of the children that leave have people they have had meaningful relationships with. When we adopted Yana the judge made a statement that I will never forget. She said that since no one in Ukraine wants you, these American people can adopt you. That statement is simply not true. Yana and Koyla have people here that care and love them, they just cannot care and love FOR them. The average income is less than $100.00 a month. The people that care about the children are old and poor and struggling with day to day life. The people that care for Yana and Koyla get up every morning to sustain themselves, and they have health issues on top of that. They are the people that have been greatly affected by the wars, communism, socialism and the collapsed economy. This economic downturn that is occurring in our country is far worse here. From Saturday until Tuesday we could not find a bank that had money. This is most difficult on the old people. Yana and Koyla will always be encouraged to care about these people. Their pictures will be part of our home décor, so they have them on the forefront of their minds. I want them to pray, write, and communicate with these people who have sacrificed to give them relationship and when the sacrifice became too great they were forced to let go. I have seen amazing love on this trip. I pray that I can love the two of them and care for them with the same depth and even more. I pray that neither of them will get caught up in materialism and will always treasure relationship over riches. I pray that the glory of God will be revealed in their lives and the path He takes them on will reveal God’s amazing love.
What more could you ask for in any adoption of two really special people that God had in his plans to be in our family.
Yana has had a great time, but this morning she looked at me and said mom, I am ready to go home. That is an answer to prayer. I am so happy that getting on with life is now in America, this is a vacation place. She can’t wait to go to Florida, were she gets to go after she returns home.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Fran,
Thanks for sharing your children's story. It helped me to understand the differences that our children come from and why there are some with hurt that goes beyond our comprehension. Imagine seeing the love some receive while you are a child totally feeling alone in the world, rejected by everyone who is suppose to love you? I am grateful for what God has done for your sweet family.
Blessings,
B.

Anonymous said...

Incredible post, Fran. You tell the story so clearly and get to the heart.

We love you guys,
Nancy

Anonymous said...

Fran..the picture of Yana, Koyla and grampa touched my heart..Yana looks so mature and caring, Koyla is a cutie..tell them A Angie is applying for the position of Grammie in waiting. So glad the plans are still on for Yana's visit..can't wait to see my little niece and all her pictures from the trip...court date???Love Angie

Anonymous said...

Praise the Lord Fran....Family is want it is all about...Nothing is more important than this...God is working.

Please offer your prayers for my Dad today..Surgery is @ 1pm...He is in good spirits and I pray our Lord shows him His peace prior to his surgery.

Our prayers continue for your wonderful family...that is becoming more extended everyday..Doug and Gloria

Anonymous said...

Fran & Rick,
Your posts are wonderful, so amazing, and so from the heart. I can hear your voices as I read...
I thank God for the day that He opened your hearts to adopting. We know that this is an emotional journey for you, so we pray for your strength and for good rest.
Blessings on you all,
Jim, Jean & co.

Unknown said...

Rick & Fran, what emotional pictures! Makes me think of our visit with Irina's grandfather to ask his permission to adopt her. This is a beautiful and difficult time for all of you. May God's blessings and comfort cover all of you.
We love you,
Dale, Debbie & the girls

Passanita Family said...

What a special time you had. I know Koyla will miss grampa very much but will embrace his new life with the knowledge that God loves him and that grampa will always love him too!
Keep the tissues handy. Sounds like you will need them. Any news of a court date?

Jeri said...

May I suggest that while you are there, make arrangements with someone such as an english teacher to continue contact with Yana and Koyla's family? Your story of the grandfather makes me want to adopt him! He sounds like a very loving and sweet man. Good to know that your children have that in their history. Congratulations!

Anonymous said...

A. Fran. This is a touching post. The photo of Yana & Kyola with their Grandpa is one they can cherish forever! I'm happy to read Yana is looking to go home now, that has to feel so good. We to are looking forward to her trip! Please tell her Dakota & Ethan are ready for her visit! XOXO Shawn