Berdyansk Reunion 2008

What a beautiful picture, Ukrainian children that once lived in an orphanage, now have families that love them. The Berdyansk Reunion was a wonderful occassion for the adults and the children. All the children in this picture are from Berdyansk except for a handful of 4 or 5. Most of them knew each other in Ukraine, and all of them have roots to the Ukraine. There are two boys that lived in another orphanage in Ukraine, what a surprise they had when they came face to face.

The reunion started off on Friday, June 13th, with a dinner-simple one of course. Then at 8:00 it turned into a Disco Dance. The children had a blast. The lights dim, the disco ball spinning, shoes off, the Russian music blasting and the dancing began. The next two and half hours was filled with energy.

The following day we are out the door and at Busch Gardens around 10:00 a.m. An exhausting day of rides, walking, eating, and good fun. Even some of us adults took the challenge and jumped on the "Griffon", Wow! You would think by 9:00 everyone would be exhausted. Only the grow-ups, the children could have used up the last hour and continued to ride for the last hour.

The final day included church at the Williamsburg Community Chapel thanking and praising God. We followed church with a picnic, soccer game, and more fellowship. We said good-bye to people from Arkansas, Alabama, Virginia Beach, and of course Williamsburg at the end of the day, Father's Day at that.

We get home exhausted, Yana crashed. She played very hard all weekend, even had a friend that was adopted at the same time she was, stay for 2 nights. It will take a couple of days to recover from this weekend. Just in time for Maryna!

We are prepared to pick up Maryna on Thursday at 7:00 p.m. in Washington, D.C. As I write my heart is just racing, excitement, nervous, thrilled, scared, emotional, trusting, and most of all thankful that God has paved this path for Maryna and for us.
Fran

Preparing for Maryna

Yes we are preparing for Maryna and not Marina. For over a year I have written Marina and when I got the list of children coming for the summer, Marina's name was Maryna. That is a very appropriate to make a name change at a time when life is going to change for her. It is biblical too, a change in life, a change in name.

We are busy getting as many as our projects done before Maryna arrives so that our summer is the girls. We are busy painting, fixing, weeding, shoveling gravel, building, etc. We are doing everything with a great deal of excitement. We called Maryna on thursday and she was standing in line at the U.S. Embassy, Kiev, waiting to get her visa. She was scared, we were surprised. I never thought of her getting scared over this exciting adventure. I can't help wish that it were different and we were holding her hand through this. After I hung up the phone I thought about her being scared in Kiev Embassy, wait until she hits New York City Airport. Now that is a cultural shock!

I am not sure that Yana is all that ready to have Maryna. We have been talking about it and praying for her visit, but I think she is fine having her own room. The best indication of it happened by accident. I want to build a second floor on our house. Now we are starting to need one. Before the second floor happens, Rick has to build his workshop so that he can expand. Before Rick builds his workshop we have to get approval from the county. Before the county approves anything we have to get closer on a land swap that our neighbor kind of forced us into doing. This land swap has already taken a 16 months, because there is a creek on it that runs into the Chesapeak Bay which is some 60 miles away. So you see the upstairs of our home is the future. One night I was teasing Rick about the second floor, could we build it this summer, we would have plenty of help. Yana was in full agreement. Rick encouraged her to draw the plans for her bedroom. The next day she gave us her plans, the luxury suite, with 3 windows, a study area, huge closet, double bed. That is what happens after being in America for 5 months! It doesn't take us humans long to want a lot. I said, where is the bathroom? Her eyes got huge and she said, "Oh yeah, I forgot". I will hang on to the plans though, it was pretty good looking for the master bedroom, after all you always have to think about resale value and that bedroom would have a great value. When I asked her about Maryna's room she said, "You won't have to build Maryna a room, she can have mine room that I have now!" Am I in for an exciting life with 2 teenage girls. I have experience though, I was a teenager once and I had 2 sisters, I know what I am in for.

We are getting ready to call Maryna now, that you God for skpe and e-mail. It has kept us connected. Our prayers are that all goes well with the travel and that Marina will like her future home and family. I know that God is in the center of all this, so His will, will be done.
Fran

An Oath to America!

Friday, May 9, 2008, Yana is sworn in as an American citizen. She makes a pledge to honor her country, stand by her country, and even bear arms for her country. No, she doesn't know what that all means, but I did and I was brought to tears by the pledge that this young Ukrainian girl had to make standing in front of the American flag, with her right hand up. As she is repeating the words of the oath, I am checking myself, am I worthy of this oath? Would I repeat these words in this oath? She pledged to give up allegence to any foreign country and defend only America. She looked like a little girl standing there repeating such important words. When she got out she told Rick her tongue hurt from repeating such big words. She did an excellent job, we are very proud of her.

I wanted Yana to know that this day was special to her, even if she didn't understand all of it. I wanted her to know that we were proud of her. We celebrated with a party and my family sent her cards in honor of her special day. She knows that it is special and she is proud of it, but she doesn't understand the importance of citizenship. In time, I believe she will. Wouldn't it be awesome if she could explain to Marina the importance of that day, when it comes around for Marina?

The event itself does not offer itself to be a memorable occassion. We had to go to Norfolk, in the pouring rain, find the tiny office in an off beat street, and then leave our camera in the car because of security. We go into a room with a table at the back wall, with a few chairs facing the front wall and the American Flag. Yana signs her name in several places and then goes to the front of the room. In front of the flag, she repeats the words that the man who is standing infront of her asks her to repeat. The man is very friendly, patient, and dressed very casual for the occassion. Rick and I sit in the front row, like the proud parents that we are, and witness Yana repeating her oath to America. Yana is given a tiny flag for her efforts and we march out of the room.

I need to get a copy of the oath, it is worth reading every once in a while. It gave me a reality check of what it means to have the honor to live in a free country. The price that many have to pay for our freedom and the responsibility of having that freedom. Rick and I walked out of there grateful for America, and for our freedom to be able to walk out with our daughter that we were so freely allowed to adopt and bring home to our country. America has opened her arms to my daughter, and for that I am so grateful.

I think I should have the job of swearing people in as citizens to America. I would get all dressed up, serve cake, clap and shout, take pictures, and then send them out of the building playing the National Anthem. Now that is a day worth remembering.

God Bless America!!!

Quiet and Trust is My Strength

Quiet--I have been. It has given me strength and trust in the Lord. I have needed some time to renew my strength. I read some books that helped me put all of my journey into perspective and my relationship with the Lord into perspective. I am not ashamed to say that I was defeated, angry, and hurt by all that has happened. There are many times I have raised my voice in anger to God and told Him, "If He had done things my way..." I know, I am no different then the Isrealites in the old testament whinning and complaining. I was disappointed in God for making the adoption so hard. I have listed all the reasons that things should have gone my way: our finances, my age, for Yana to have a sister, etc. etc. etc. Then I read the book that is so appropriately named, "Disappointment with God". That book has been in my home for the longest time. It moved from New York State to our apartment in Virginia, 13 years ago. Then it moved to our first home in Virginia, and then it moved to our home that we live in now. The book never interested me before, so I have never read it. It came free one time with the order I had made from a Christian Book Club. It is so out of my character to keep books, or for that matter anything that hasn't been read or used. I am the ultimate de-clutter person. I don't like stuff, I like space. The book was perfect for the message that God would have for me. It is the same message that is in the book of Job. When I stepped aside and viewed God apart from my hurt, I got the message! God is God, He made the universe, do I have any of these abilities? Am I God? I thank God that I am not God, the position is way over my head. I don't even want to be president over one country, that alone reign over All the universe and everything in it. Wow, what a task! With this type of thinking, God is returning laughter, joy, hope and pleasure, back into my life. I can't say that laughter comes as often as I would like it to, but at least my laugh muscles are starting to work again and the laugh lines are starting to appear on my face again. I have even had to get the "Fine Line Creams" out and use them again on crows feet that surround my eyes. That is a good sign.

Yana is doing great. Her English is improving rapidly, even though she points to her head and says it hurts from all that she is learning. She is a joy to have in our lives. She has been able to share some of her past with us, which has brought us closer together. Life in the orphanage was good for Yana, a save place to be. She is missing her friends, especially her friend Inna. She tells me often that she loves Inna. When I hear the stories about Inna I understand why she loves Inna so much, Inna cared about her alot. When she first came to the orphanage Yana would walk and stand with her shoulders rounded forward, her self-image was low. Inna would make her stand up straight and poke her finger into her back and tell her to stand tall. Yana would stand up against the wall for 15 minutes everyday, because Inna watched her and made her do it until she stood tall. Thank you Lord for Inna, that helped to make Yana the young, beautiful lady that she is today. I know from the stories I have heard that Inna is one of Yana's angels. My heart breaks for Inna and her sister Natasha, they have no chance of adoption. How sad is that. Both the girls are fun, loving, caring people. They would make great daughters.

We are allowing ourselves to get excited about Marina coming to visit this summer. It is looking more positive every day. I am still guarding my heart from disappointment. I am fearful that something will stop her. I just got word that the paperwork is done, that was enough to break down some of my defensive walls and allow a little excitement to enter into my life. I also get anxious, I still have fears of the future, the "what if"... When my mind goes to the what if thoughts, I run to scriptures. Everyday I read Psalms 32:7, Eph.3:16, Ps.68:19, Is.50:10, Ps.40:11 and Jeremiah 29:11--I know the plans I have for Marina...plans to prosper her and not to harm her, plans to give her hope and a future.

One new little twist in our journey. Before we left Berdyansk, Yana asked to visit her grandfather and brother. That was news to us that there was a brother in her life. There is no mention of the brother anywhere in her records. He is 11 years old, soon to be 12. She was brought up with this brother. She carried her brother away from harm many times and even took a beating for her brother so that he would stop being beat. Yana knows that her sister is safe and has a good family. Her brother was not so lucky. We stopped by the grandfather's house so that she could see her brother. They have not seen each other in 5 years. Her brother was not there, he hadn't come home from the night before. Her grandfather said he was going to put him in an orphanage, that he was too old to handle him. This past week Yana got an e-mail from Inna that her brother is in Berdyansk orphanage. We called Marina and Yana was able to talk to her brother. He is sad that Yana is gone. Many emotions are flooding Yana. She has the biggest heart for her brother. They went through a lot together before they were seperated.
What a burden she is carrying. The orphanage for Yana gave her a chance to be a child, for that I am grateful. We have new prayers at night with Yana, now they include Kola's present and future. The good news is the same orphanage that gave her back her childhood, now has a chance to give Kola, her brother, a chance to have more childhood also. We are praying that Kola is willing to receive it.

Easter is Real

I am having a great Easter experience in my beyond mid-life. I laid my burdens on the cross thanks to scripture, prayers of family, friends, and believers I have never met, but I know their heart. The results rest and trust which equals strength, according to Isaiah 30:15. God's promises are yes and amen and I can say amen to the peace that I have receive. Easter was such a joyful celebration for our family. Yana has been in America for 2 full months and is blossoming along with the spring. She is such a happy child, really loves her life. She and Papa really became buddies while mama was back in the Ukraine. I think Yana has papa wrapped around her finger. She can get him to do most anything, even ride the rollercoaster at Busch Gardens so many times that he turns green. Poor Rick ended up Easter Sunday night in bed spinning. It had no effect on Yana at all, she could have kept on going.

Both Rick and I found ourselves rejoicing over our adoption of Yana. We told Yana that God is able to change hearts and He changed our last year and put her on our heart. What a change in life we have taken. In February of 2007, when I met Marina, I thought I knew the course that God was moving us into. I thought I was filling out paper work to adopt Marina. The river of life flows and the unexpected turns are there to keep me close to God. On Easter Sunday, again I thought that I knew the way the river was flowing, the next time that I would see Marina would be next February. Monday...a turn. We received an e-mail from Frontier Horizons. The director of the Berdyansk Orphanage has approved Marina's visit for the summer!!!!!!!!!!
How cool is that? When there was nothing more that I could do, that is when God could do His work and He did it in deed.

God has alot of work to do in all 4 of us this summer. I am so appreciative that we can join hands and walk with Him together. We will be blending as a family, preparing for a future together. We will be nurturing and encouraging two young girls to trust in the Lord with all our hearts. We will be preparing for an adoption, doing a homestudy, and getting the dossiers ready for February. We will have to maintain courage and not let fear, doubt, and anxiety, try to steal the victory of the moment.

When I look at the whole picture, I am overwhelmed. Marina will come, then she will go. We will be returning to the Ukraine for another adoption, and that will take another 5 weeks of living in the Ukraine. I have to admit that I have told God that the river that I mapped out didn't have so many turns and much less rough water. It was safe and financially more realistic. It was an overwhelming picture, especially when we decided to adopt Yana along with Marina, but it wasn't anywhere near the size of His ocean that He has placed in front of me. It is bigger then life to me. I can see God up in Heaven smiling and nodding His head. He is looking down on me saying, "That's right Fran, if I was going to have control, I had to create an ocean, one that was too big for you to see the whole thing." That's where faith comes from, when the circumstances are so big that I look so small. It is not up to me to know what God has in store for this journey. The miracle that I have been asking for could be right around the corner. All I know is that God is holding my hand and we are walking in harmony, because I surrendered to His ocean and found my river was filled with currents that couldn't be seen from above the water, but almost took my life when I was in the water. I am blessed to have such a personal walk with my Lord and Savor. I have always wanted to see God. I do, I see Him.
Fran

He Has Risen

It is Easter, He has Risen, and we no longer need to live under the circumstances, we can rise above them. Nothing much has changed, mountain tops one day and valley experiences the next. The mountains are not so high and the valley experiences are not so deep. I am finding peace in the prayers, the cards, and most of all God's Word. It is comforting to know that God loves Marina more then I do and that He cares for her more then I do. That is the burden that Jesus took to the cross. The experience of death on the cross was painful, so were the burdens that went on the cross with Him. I have given Marina's adoption and freedom to Christ many times and taken it back as many. I have worried myself to the point of total fatique, then recharged myself by lifting the burden off of me and back on to His shoulders, where it belongs. I am just another Isrealite that just can't accept a good thing. When I read about them in the Bible I think to myself, those fools, why can't they accept a good thing. I know that I am also a fool, I have the good thing, yet I deny it and the burden becomes so heavy. In the Bible a fool is one that doesn't know the things of God, one who denies them. I guess it is easier to be a fool then I thought, I never thought that I would deny the truth that Jesus cares for Marina more then me.
Today, I am no fool. I have given Him the burden and feel His joy and peace in me. Today I feel like I am one personality, Fran, under Christ. Today, I am enjoying Yana and the joy continues even as she sleeps. I am not running to the bathroom or hiding in my bed crying, I am rejoicing. I thought Easter was going to be painful, it is not, it is the celebration that Christ so deserves to have.

Yesterday, Good Friday, Rick, Yana, and I went to service at the Chapel. A quiet, sobber service. A reminder of the night that Jesus took our sins to the cross, and felt the pain of our sins. Yana sat between Rick and myself, watching, listening, and I am sure wondering, what is this all about. We left the church holding each other, heads high, and smiling. We were suppose to be somber and quiet. We honored the quiet, but the somber was a tough one. We are happy and it was hard to hid. I told Yana that I am thankful that God put a love in our heart for her, even before we met her. That is how God works, the love comes before and it just keeps growing.

Praise God, for He alone is worthy to be praised. Happy Easter!
Fran

An Aha Moment

Marina, sweet, beautiful and loving. God has really embedded her in our hearts. The devil is working overtime to keep us apart. While I was out in the Ukraine, I had two recurring thoughts. I once had a conversation with someone that said she did not want the Holy Spirit in her life because she was scared of what He would ask her to do. What if He asked her to quit her job and be a missionary in Africa. The other thought was a phrase I have heard the pastor at the church that I attend say. Life is an adventure when you follow God. The definition of adventure changes as we get older. The two thoughts together became my aha moment. I am in a place in my life that I really don't want to be, but God does. It is an adventure, but it is so painful. When this adventure started I was in Berdyansk on a fact finding mission trip one year ago. I called Rick and said that I had fallen in love with a young girl, Marina. I would either have to move to the Ukraine or she would have to be adopted by us. Little did I know that moving to the Ukraine was the easier path to walk. The path has so many hills and always followed by a valley. Yana's adoption was just a level path. Every door that has opened has closed again. The good news is that time is passing and soon we will be adopting Marina.

We had another door open. I learned about it when I was in Ukraine. An organization that host children from Ukraine. All I have to do is ask the organization to invite Marina for 3 weeks. and she can come to visit us during the summer. That is an okay plan. At least she would see her home, meet her dog, sleep in her bed. and know that this is here for her. I came home and called Frontier Horizon to find out the facts and we were elated when they told us that since we have a relationship with Marina, she can stay the whole summer, 9 weeks. I know the good bye at the end of 9 weeks would be hard, but it would put us closer to her adoption date. The organization has their representative in Ukraine contact the director and her answer is; she can only come for the summer if there is a guardian with her. In other words we would have to have a teacher here with her. She can come for 3 weeks, but she was worried that we would keep her. Our decision, bring on the teacher! The organization is contacting the director of our decision so we will see if there is sincerity there or not. Pray that there is please.

This morning in my prayer time, I felt stress and darkness. I really struggled with it and asked God why I saw Him so clear in my life and just could not see the same in Marina's. I have been praying scripture and injecting Marina's name into it. This morning the scripture that jumped out at me was Jeremiah 29:11
I know the plans that I have for Marina, declares the Lord, plans to prosper her and not to harm her, plans to give her hope and a future.
Hebrews 13:5
God has said, Never will I leave Marina, never will I forsake her.

The promises that God has Marina in his hands and He is only giving me a piece of the love that He has for her, that is where my peace comes from. I do pray that He will allow us her presence for the summer. Oh this journey has it moments when I ask God, if this adventure has to have so many painful moments, can't it just have a happy ending now. I will wait upon the Lord, He knows and that's the best mountain top experience anyone can have, to recognize that God is in control and I am just a small servant in His great plan.
Fran